BLOG: FACEBOOK TRENDING

Like I’ve said, all my information about politics, and the world is collected through skimming  various internet sites- some that occasionally touch on current events (Buzzfeed, Facebook).

Last quarter, Facebook reported 1.19 billion monthly active users, 874 million mobile users, and 728 million daily users

On their home page, there is a column to the right with a currently trending list of events and sentence or two for each event (column called “top trends”). If one were feeling over eager, you can click the buttons on the top of this column that will reveal additional subject specific events under “Politics”, “Science and Technology”, “Sports”, or “Entertainment”

With the obscenely high number of users, you’d think Facebook would put some thought into which events they choose to post. I know “trending” implies that there is no choice, rather the listed events are chosen by a computer that calculates what users are currently discussing the most. But if I believe that, then I am also forced to accept the fact that the people of the world are concerned with the topics below…rather than on anything important. Quite the bummer. Whatever.

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Over the years, I have screen-shotted some of the more ridiculous news articles Facebook listed on their home page to 1.19 Billion people…..

If these are not a sign of the apocalypse, I don’t know what is

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Happy Halloween?
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I LOVE the Williams sisters, not because I know anything about Tennis, but because how miserable all the other pro tennis girls look after they play these Amazon Queens. Gotta be a Real Bummer facing a serve that can break your neck…
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I wonder if there’s a dark tumblr full of “final selfies” before they got hit by a car/fell in a toilet/before whatever they were supposed to be doing ended up killing them. That’s bad I ask that right?
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Is this supposed to make me feel good about the current airport security measures to catch terrorists? What even happened here? Was the airport team proud of this, “HEY WE GOT SOMETHING THAT MIGHT BE A BOMB…OR BREAST MILK BUT STILL, WE TRIED SOOO GOLD STAR?!” Alternate Scenario: some security guy really wanted to drink Alyssa Milano’s breast milk so he found a way to confiscate it…
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Don’t Worry Tom, everyone else that swallowed the daily acid, blow, and ex cocktail every day from 1992-1999, feels the exact same way you do.
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This is likely a press release by a very good publicist who bribed doctor to professionally state that Lindsay’s obvious genital herpes is actually be Bora Bora themed-malaria.
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What else are you supposed to do when your super mad and super hungry at the same time? After her scare tactic, Glenn Close probably ate the rabbit out of the trash in Fatal Attraction. The real shame would be the wasting of good meat.
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See? There’s always an upside.
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Typical?
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Do they think “excessive drinking” sounds better than “host’s cartel- level daily blow intake”?
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I have no idea who either of these TWATS are but I love this as FB’s Halloween News story choice.
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After Ashley Madison, and the billion other sleaze website hacks, how could these idiots not know this was inevitable? Oh right, they all live in the middle of nowhere. Or in DC.
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Are we sure he wasn’t just trying for a classic ghost outfit and just blew it?
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It’s not like he won’t hide all his illegal Mexicans in the attic if Trump deports everyone. Besides, have you seen his wife? She’s a professional fighter. I bet she slaps him around and he likes it.