Are you bored of Harry Potter yet? Too bad. Below are some random thoughts I have about Voldemort and the Dark Order. Both in the Movie and the Book…and some random ones as well.
- Ralph Fiennes is the actor who plays Voldemort, so naturally I just assume he is actually Voldemort. This means several things.
- Liam Neeson fights Voldemort in the clash of titans and wrath of titans films.
- Kiera Knightly gets uber raped, by Voldemort, in the Duchess. It’s really bad that I am jealous…right?
- Philip Seymour Hoffman (RIP) sees Voldemort NAKED in red dragon. Edward Norton wishes he had.
- It was Voldemort, NOT nazi Amon Goeth that killed so many Jews in Schindler’s list
- Actually, now that I am reading all of these, Voldemort has really stuck to only the bad guys. I am glad he found his comfort zone.
- Do wizards abort squibs? If so, what is wizard abortion like? Has there ever been one in the hospital wing at Hogwarts? I bet. I mean they are 15-17, which are prime abortion years. Actually there has to be abortion because none of the students at Hogwarts are walking around pregnant. I bet it’s a simple spell. OR maybe there is just a full proof charm to prevent ovulation until you want it.
- I bet there’s a spell that works like Viagara. Options could be “accioerectus” “leviosashaft” “levicorpuspenosis”
- If Voldemort wrote in the Riddle Diary after it had been made a horcrux, then he would just be having a conversation with himself. Which is kind of cute, because he would finally have a real friend.
- Voldemort would have lived forever if he had turned all his Horcruxes into water bottles and socks. Just bury them in random dirt.
- The death eaters all have dark marks branded on their arms. These marks summon Voldemort automatically if they are just touched with the wizard’s other hand. IDK about you but when I am sleeping or tired, I randomly move my arms together or scratch my arms. Has this ever happened to them? What about during sex? What if they accidentally touch their tattoo while in the throws? Sure maybe they’d be reverent enough to try not to touch it, or maybe none of them are getting laid but accidents DO happen. And there was no spell, only a poke to the ink. I bet Voldy got summoned by accident more than a few times. And probably killed them, which makes sense, because there aren’t a shit ton of actual death eaters.
- Speaking of dark mark, was there a tattoo party where the original death eaters all got branded by the mark by Voldemort? Did He just use his wand as a tattoo needle? I bet it was kind of annoying the mark them all and then hear them talk about it while he was marking the rest. Still though, I wish I could have gone to that.
- Voldemort makes an actual pun in goblet of fire. After wormtail cuts off his own hand to help Voldy regenerate, Voldemort tells the death eaters “Well, one of them was already at hand, was it not, Wormtail? Flesh given by a servant. . .”
- It was horrible and weird when Voldemort hugged Malfoy in the Movie….
Painfully Average 